Gibby's Finest Hour
by aqwaticactor
Summary: Gibby tells the story of a lifetime (his finest hour), but the author doesn't quite follow along.
1. Chapter 1

Gibby walked through school with an angered look. He had been tired of being pushed around his entire life. Sam squirted cheese in Gibby's pants every day and Freddie always bored him and Carly smelled funny and Jeremy was infecting the earth with his existence. He was tired of all of it. Gibby was so fet up with it, that he decided to take extreme measures.

On Martin Luthor King Jr. Day, Gibby came into school with brown face paint and he sagged his pants down to the floor to the point where you could see a line of skin between his pink polkadot underwear and his pants and he had a shirt that said "Black and proud of it" while he was eating fried chicken. Everyone stared at him in shock.

* * *

><p>Hold on, wait, what is this garbage? I'm the author, and I don't even know what's happening here.<p>

"Gimme a sec, this will all make sense in a moment."

Okay...

"Oh yeah, and try not to interrupt."

Oh, right. Sorry.

* * *

><p>"YO WHADDUP DAWHG?!" Gibby yelled to the general population as he pulled a slice of water mellon out of his pocket.<p>

"GIBBY DATS RACIST!" Carly yelled out loud.

"NO IM CELEBRATING MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. DAY! YOU'RE ALLOWED TO DRESS UP AS LEPRECHAUNS ON SAINT PATRICKS DAY AND WEAR FOUR LEAF CLOVERS AND THATS RACIST SO I'M ONLY BEING FAIR HERE! IF ANYONE SAYS THAT LEPRECHAUNS ARE REAL THEN THEY ARE RACIST!" Everyone was amazed. Gibby did have a point. Saint Patricks Day was in fact racist.

* * *

><p>Woah, woah, woah, what?!<p>

"Hard to believe, isn't it?"

I don't even know what to make of this! St. Patricks Day? Racist? What are you even trying to say?

"Keep reading, it gets better."

Fine, let's see where this goes.

* * *

><p>"Gibby you're right we're sorry." Principal Franklin said.<p>

"YOU WILL ALL REMEMBER THE NAME OF GIBBY!" He said as he pulled out a sawed off glock from his back pocket.

"BANG BANG LOSERS!" Gibby said as he shot people in the face and throat.

"HE GOT ME IN THE FACE!" Freddie screamed out.

"HE GOT ME IN THE BRAIN!" Sam screamed out.

"HE GOT ME IN THE HEART!" Carly screamed out.

"DIE!" Gibby screamed out, "HASHTAG YOLO!"

* * *

><p>Wait wait wait wait, hold up for a second. Let's ignore the fact that the situation is certainly escalating quickly and that we'll probably get sued along with some death threats, but did you just say "HASHTAG YOLO!"?!<p>

"Yeah, so what?!"

You don't even deserve an ending to this story so I think I'll just end it here.

"NO WAIT! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME A HUNDRED MORE WORDS TO WRAP THIS UP! I'VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS!"

...you know, they say it's curiosity that killed the cat, but I think it's curiosity that's gonna kill me. Let's see what happens...

* * *

><p>Gibby continued to shoot people in the bladder and the uvula and the medulla oblongata. "I AM THE KING OF THIS SCHOOL! BOW DOWN BEFORE ME AND SING TO ME!"<p>

No one knew what to do, so they just all left.

"COME ON DON'T ANY OF YOU DIE?!"

"Nope." said Rip-Off Rodney.

"...okay, I guess I failed. Anyone wanna go to the Groovy Smoothy?"

"HECK YEAH!" Everyone said, and they skipped off into the sunset and they all lived happily ever after. Well, except for Sam who snorted marijuana later that day and died instantly.

THE END

* * *

><p>Well, as the author, I gotta say, I'm not to impressed.<p>

"WHAT?! But this was my finest hour! This was the moment I was meant to live!"

But you said yourself it was a failure.

"Just because it was a failure doesn't mean it wasn't fine! Or that it wasn't my finest hour!"

Meh, okay, fine. I'll buy that. Well, I have to say, your story was somewhat decent. Though what did the Saint Patricks Day thing have to do with anything? I mean, I guess it was something to think about, well not really if you actually think about it for longer than a second you'll actually realize how stupid your claim actually was, but what did that add to the overall arc of the story? And why were you dressed up as a black person? How did this give you an edge in any way except for making people hate you more? Heck, why was there school on Martin Luthor King Jr. Day?! AND WHY DID YOU GO ON A KILLING MASACRE?! FIRST YOU WANT TO TEACH THEM ABOUT RACISM THEM YOU WANT TO KILL THEM?! WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?! AND HOW DO YOU SAW OFF A GLOCK?! THEN EVERYONE ALL OF A SUDDEN FORGIVES YOU?! AND NO ONE GETS HURT EVEN THOUGH YOU SHOOT THEM IN THE FACE AND THROAT?! WHAT IS THIS?!

"You know, theres just a point in life where you just have to suspend disbelieve and enjoy a story. You of all people should know that, you're the author."

THIS ISN'T EVEN ABOUT SUSPENDING MY BELIEFS! THESE ARE JUST STRAIGHT UP PLOT HOLES! THE FIRST HALF OF THIS STORY DOESN'T ADD ANYTHING TO THE STORY AND THE SECOND HALF DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE! IN ALL MY YEARS OF WRITING THIS IS THE MOST TERRIBLE THING I'VE EVER READ OR WRITTEN!

"You can call it what you'd like, it was just my finest hour."

AND THAT ENDING...WHAT WAS THAT WITH THE MARIJUANA?!

"Yeah, I figured we could have an anti-drug message in there since its all the kids talk about these days."

BUT THAT'S NOT EVEN HOW IT WORKS! YOU DON'T SNORT MARIJUANA AND YOU DON'T-...you know what? I'm just gonna end the story right here.

"Fine by me."

Alrighty then. To the reader, if you actually stayed until the end, I am so sorry.

"BUT I'M NOT!"

That's nice, Gibby.


	2. Chapter 2

Well Gibby, apparently your story didn't do so badly.

"REALLY?!-I mean, oh yeah, I knew it would do awesome."

We didn't get sued (THANK GOODNESS) and we didn't get any death threats (PRAISE THE LORD). So because you wrote a "solid" story, I think you have a right to tell another story...

"For real?!"

Yes, for real.

"Awesome! You won't be dissapointed. This is going to be great."

Well I guess we'll see. Now let's see what you can bring to the table with this new story.

* * *

><p>Gibby walked through school in Thailand with an angered look. He had been tired of being pushed around his entire life. Sam squirted cheese in Gibby's pants every day and Freddie always bored him and Carly smelled funny and he was tired of all of it. Gibby was so fet up with it, that he decided to take extreme measures.<p>

* * *

><p>Huh. You know, I'm getting a strange feeling of deja vu here.<p>

"Hold on, let me finish."

Alright. Continue...

* * *

><p>On Martin Luthor King Jr. Day, Gibby came into school with brown face paint and he sagged his pants down to the floor to te point where you could see a line of skin between his pink polkadot underwear and his pants and he had a shirt that said "Black and proud of it" while he was eating fried chicken. Everyone stared at him in shock.<p>

* * *

><p>Wait a second, this is the exact same story as your first one!<p>

"Yeah, I'm Hangover 2ing it."

You're what?

"I'm telling the same story but in Thailand."

Are you serious here? I don't think I'll bother writing the rest.

"Okay fine! I'll tell a new story."

Thank you.

"But first, I wanna say, there's a twist at the end."

Well, that should be interesting. Let's see where this goes...

"Just PLEASE try not to interrupt."

Deal.

* * *

><p>One day, Gibby and all of his friends went into the Groovy Smoothy.<p>

* * *

><p>Wow, you have friends? I'm impressed.<p>

"ONE SENTENCE IN AND YOU'RE ALREADY INTERRUPTING."

Okay, sorry. Go on...

* * *

><p>"What do you guys want to get? It's all on me!" Gibby said out loud with a big smile.<p>

"Thanks Gibby!" Everyone said. Since they weren't paying, everyone got the most expensive things on the menu. Normally, Gibby would be mad that his wallet was emptying out and potentially driving him to poverty, but today he didn't mind. Gibby and the rest of them sat down at a table, and they talked and laughed like how all good friends do.

Gibby sighed and stared into the distance. How long could he go on like this? He couldn't go on living life like this.

"Yo Gibby!" Someone said, "You're an amazing person." This caused Gibby to shed a small tear.

"Gibby what's wrong?" Carly said.

"I just..." he started, "I've been living a lie."

"What do you mean, man?" Freddy asked.

"I just can't lie to you guys anymore. I can't lie to myself anymore." He said as he looked up. "I have something I need to tell you guys."

"What is it?" Said Rip-off Rodney.

"I..." Gibby started.

"It's ok." Carly said, patting his back, "we're here for you, no matter what."

"Thank you," Gibby said, acknowledging her kindness. "I'm...I'm really Amish." Everyone gasped!

* * *

><p>...<p>

"What?"

Ok, I will admit, I was actually on the edge of my seat there for a second. But...I thought it was gonna be something bigger like you were coming out of the closet, or something else like that, I don't know.

"Wow, what's up with the homophobia?"

THAT'S NOT HOMOPHOBIA, THAT'S-...you know what..it's pointless arguing with you. Lemme just end this right here so I can continue the rest of my life.

"NO! Just lemme finish this!"

...you know, I already sealed my fate by starting this new story, and as long as I started this, so I might as well end it.

"GREAT!"

Let's just hurry it up...

"Don't rush scripture, bro."

Let's just get back to the story.

* * *

><p>"Gibby, I..." Carly said, at a lost for words, "I had no idea."<p>

"I thought I should come clean. I love you guys and I can't lie to you anymore." He said, wiping away another tear. This was very hard for him.

"Gibby, all still love you." Freddy said.

"Really?" Gibby asked, surprised.

"Of course!" They all said together. "You are the one true Gibby and nothing can change that, and nothing ever will change that."

"Thanks, you guys." Gibby said with a smile.

"Let's go out to celebrate that you've finally come out as an Amish!" Wendy suggested.

"SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN TO ME!" Gibby said. "But first...lemme go full Amish." He then ripped off his T-shirt and shorts to reveal he was wearing a pair of overalls and a denim shirt underneath his clothes, and he then put on a straw hat. "This is my true form, and frankly, it feels so right."

"It looks right, Gibby." Freddy said.

"LETS GET IN MY HORSE AND BUGGY AND GO TO THE MALL!"

"THAT SOUNDS AWESOME!" Everyone replied. Gibby pulled out his cellphone to find out it was only 4 o'clock, meaning they had the whole rest of the day ahead of them. "Let's go!"

"Hey guys!" Sam said, "I got a bag of marijuana here, wanna come into the bathroom with me and snort it?!"

"Thank you for the offer, Sam, but I've come to realize that the only thing you can truly get high off of..." Gibby said, pausing shortly to look at his friends, "is friendship."

"Whatevs." Sam said as she walked away, leaving Gibby and all of his friends to ride down the street together in Gibby's horse and buggy, stronger than they were ever before.

Little did they know that Sam would die that same day from snorting marijuana and dying instantly.

THE END

* * *

><p>...what the heck?<p>

"Ah, golden. Just golden."

Well, once again, as the author of this crap, I'm not impressed.

"AGAIN?! Gee, you're REALLY hard to please, man! I bet you like your Fanfiction written by Martin Scorsese and edited by Quentin Tarantino!"

Alright, alright, I guess I am being a bit harsh. Like I said, you DID have me on the edge of my seat there for a moment, and it was DECENT...however, I do have one question: where did the Amish thing come from? And why did you feel you need to keep it a secret? Actually, why are you even Amish in the first place? And why did you need to be so dramatic about it?! HECK WHY DID YOU HAVE A CELLPHONE IF YOU'RE AMISH?! AND HOW COULD YOU KEEP A PAIR OF OVERALLS AND A DENIM SHIRT UNDER YOUR CLOTHES?! AND WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT REALLY CHEEZY LINE AT THE END WITH THE HIGH OFF OF FRIENDSHIP?! DO YOU THINK THIS IS SOME SORT OF AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL THAT CHILDREN ARE GONNA READ?!

"Children all over the world should read this story!"

NO! NO THEY SHOULDN'T! AND WHAT WAS THE POINT OF "HANGOVER 2ING IT" ONLY TO MAKE MONEY OFF OF THE SAME EXACT STORY BUT IN A DIFFERENT LOCATION?! AND WHAT WAS WITH THAT THROWBACK TO PART ONE WITH SAM AND THE MARIJUANA? WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THAT OTHER THAN TO MAKE IT CONNECTED TO YOUR ORIGINAL STORY?! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN SNORT-...you know what? I'm done. Do you know how many Amish people we'll offend with this?

"Zero. It's not like any Amish people will read this."

Well, you're right, it's not like any Amish people will actually read this trash.

"I meant they're not allowed on the internet so they won't ever read it!"

Ok, well, I'm done. To whoever is reading this and actually stayed this long: I am so sorry you had to suffer through this.

"BUT I'M NOT!"

Yeah, go play with your horse and buggy, Gibby.


End file.
